There is a reason why this topic is extra important to me. For most of my childhood life, I had social anxiety. So what should I do if I have social anxiety?

I’ll break down 2 simple things you can do.

1) Understand yourself
2) Change the things that you can change

Many people suffering from social anxiety begins with the attitude that they are “lesser”. They may feel like they do not fit in. I remember clearly when asked what I was good at as a child, I responded with, “I can’t think of anything.”

But, yet, studies show that social anxiety is linked to high intelligence and empathy. Think of it this way: anxiety is a protective mechanism. People with anxiety are more prone to the alertness of their surrounding. They are also more likely to be sad when others are sad.

Though not conclusive, my experience is consistent with the findings. Many of the clients that I help hold exactly those two traits: intelligence and empathy.

You may have social anxiety because of important strengths. Strengths often couple up with weaknesses. Intelligence and empathy could also mean over-thinking or over-feeling. This causes individuals to freeze up or go through compassion fatigue.

So understand yourself. Social anxiety may not mean you’re a lesser person at all. In fact, it just highlights that you have certain strengths that you should use for your good and others.

There are a series of small changes that you can make to feel more confident before people. If it doesn’t cost too much effort and can change how you feel, why not do it?

A) Dress well. We feel how we look. Quick grooming does not take that much. Cut your nails, wear a pair of nice shoes, do your hair. The difference it makes is worth the cost. When I was in high school, I tried this experiment. Day one, I wore what I normally do and took note of how people interacted with me. Day two, I put on some contacts, gelled my hair, and dressed nicer. I couldn’t believe how different it was. People smiled at me more often, girls were more flirtatious/talkative. I’m no fashionista. But it isn’t necessary, small changes make a big impact.

B) Smile and eye contact. I make it a rule to smile as the first and last impression for others. It has nothing to do with how I’m feeling, it is simply kind to do so. Also, it conveys warmth and approachability.

C) Good posture. It’s good both for your health and for how you feel about yourself. It also conveys confidence and changes how people view you.

This is not exhaustive. The idea is; it is simple. Just try it, experiment with it. I believe it will change your social interactions.

What are other things you do to help your social anxiety?