Floating, unhitched, at a loss..

You’ve gone through every emotion. The pain of losing your spouse and the grieving process might have been things you expected to feel. You made it through the initial shock and pain, and all of the property and legal paperwork is behind you. But you still feel deep sadness, disorientation, loneliness and boredom.

Many who have lost their life partners know this all too well. The sadness makes sense, the anger, the bargaining—‘why him and not me’—and perhaps an eventual acceptance that the person most important to you is now gone. But the hardest part can be the transition back to being an individual rather than a couple.

Suddenly you’re faced with big life questions that you have to make on your own—Where will I live? When or how will I retire? Will I remarry? What will I do all day by myself?

The big questions are hard to think about. Sometimes you feel overwhelmed with anxiety about the future. Reinventing yourself can be challenging whether your loss was recent or in the past.

A few thoughts that may be helpful:

1)     Loss of a spouse is a major life transition. Unlike moving, going to college, or having a baby, you have pain to manage on top of finding your new place in life. Feeling like yourself won’t happen overnight, but as time passes your perspective will change too.

2)     There is no simple solution or magic formula. Everyone experiences loss, transition and reinvention in different ways when their spouse passes.

3)     You are resilient. Our brains are designed to adapt and change as our surroundings change. It may seem like you’ll never feel ‘normal’ again, but it’s possible to find a new rhythm that works for you.

4)     You are not alone, there is always help. Re-establishing a support community may take time but there are people and support services available.

If you’re having a hard time transitioning after a loss, we are here to help. Our therapists are here to listen and support you as you navigate these tough times.

If you’d like to book a session, you can use our online platform by clicking here. We look forward to hearing from you.  

Photo Credit: Fabrizio Verrecchia on Unsplash