There I said it. I’m a Christian. A Bible believing, church going, trying my best to live in obedience to Jesus, Christian.
With that, I’ve always hesitated to call myself a Christian counsellor. I am not trained in Biblical counselling. Rather, I consider myself a counsellor that happens also to be a Christian.
If you are not a Christian, this post does not need to matter for you. I do not shove my faith down people’s throats, but I do not shy away from who I am. But yet, if you’re interested by all means read on!
So what should I be looking for in Christian marriage counselling? Here’s a few things to consider:
I do not advertise as a Christian counsellor. But, yet Christians who’ve come through my practice appreciate my understanding. We recognize our authority comes from above rather than conventional wisdom. So I understand when a Christian couple comes in and they are trying to live by the Bible. Often I hear this, “I’ve been to another counsellor, but they just don’t get it.” For this reason, I do recommend Christians to find counsellors that share their faith.
The only way marriage counselling could help is if it is based on truth. It is important to understand each parties’ sides. Still, it is also important to point out strengths and weaknesses. It’s important that the counsellor does not take sides for the couple. That is why we do an in-depth assessment of the marriage situation before moving on to treatment.
It is helpful to read marriage books and learn about God’s design of marriage in our lives. However, to drive home how it would look like at home from day to day you need tools. What are the tools that both partners could use to connect? What tools can you use to help solve conflicts? What tools can you use to define what’s important in marriage in life for the both of you?
As much as tools can help, you ultimately need God’s help in your healing. A counsellor who is Christian will come alongside you on your faith journey. They will reveal truth where it needs to be revealed. They will encourage you where you are to be encouraged. They will pray with you and for you through the process.